Horrible Capitalist Pigs- Black Friday Edition

Ready to have your head spin by reading some suggestions from a Cornell economics professor on why Black Friday is doing unconscionable damage to shoppers and workers?  Well get ready because Robert Frank, writing in the New York Times, is going to fix society through the best coercive social engineering device around: taxation.  First on the horrible pain and misery Black Friday brings to those chained-up slaves known as retail workers:

In recent years, large retail chains have been competing to be the first to open their doors on Black Friday. The race is driven by the theory that stores with the earliest start time capture the most buyers and make the most sales. For many years, stores opened at a reasonable hour. Then, some started opening at 5 a.m., prompting complaints from employees about having to go to sleep early on Thanksgiving and miss out on time with their families. But retailers ignored those complaints, because their earlier start time proved so successful in luring customers away from rival outlets.

Those rivals, of course, didn’t sit idly by. Their inevitable response was to open earlier themselves, restoring competitive balance. Other retailers began opening at 4 a.m., then 3 a.m., and, eventually, at midnight. Several malls have promoted “Moonlight Madness.” Last year Toys “R” Us opened at 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving. This year, Wal-Mart will do the same. The costs to store owners and their employees and families are enormous: millions must now spend time away from home on the one occasion that all Americans, regardless of religion or cultural background, share as a family holiday.

Amazingly, Frank has determined the time employees voluntarily give up time from their families in order to work is "enormous" in cost.  No a priori deduction or explanation given.  Just a brash assumption over interpersonal utility comparisons that are unmeasurable as numerical expressions.  Next, Frank implies that no one likes Black Friday shopping and it is irrational that it exists:

These costs might be worth bearing if they led to even larger gains. But when all outlets open earlier, no one benefits. Few people actually want to shop in the wee hours, and the purchases that do occur then are presumably offset, dollar for dollar, by reduced sales during normal business hours. Even the shoppers who turn out for early openings seem motivated primarily by a fear that others might snap up bargains before they get there. But if all stores opened later, there would be no fewer bargains than before.

So let's get this straight, even though businesses and shoppers receive no benefits from Black Friday, they still go through the process like mindless cogs in a machine anyway?  The core of Frank's objection to Black Friday comes from the business hours that now extend into Thanksgiving night.  His solution?

Black Friday (or, more accurately, Black Thursday Night) is only hours away, so it’s too late to do anything about early openings this year. But we can start thinking about what can be done to protect our future Thanksgivings. Many societies employ “blue laws” — laws that mandate closing times, usually on Sundays. But there is a simpler, more flexible, way to approach this problem. Inspired by the 9-9-9 proposal of the Republican presidential contender Herman Cain, I call it the 6-6-6 plan — an across-the-board 6 percent national sales tax (on top of any existing state and local sales taxes) in effect from 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving to 6 a.m. on Black Friday.
This plan would leave both stores and consumers free to decide for themselves whether middle-of-the-night shopping is worth it.

Oh yes, we must protect Thanksgiving above all else!  How else will society survive?!  So we must bring in the parasitic institution known as the state to get its grubby paws on another source of income as to socially engineer "good" behavior.  Businesses and consumers will always be free to decide when they will shop; the difference with Frank's plan is that "plucking of the goose feathers" will be greater between "6 p.m. on Thanksgiving to 6 a.m. on Black Friday."

Even if some retailers decided to stick with the early openings and even if some shoppers showed up, the country would reap a significant benefit. As every mature adult realizes, we have to tax something, and the revenue from my 6-6-6 plan would make it possible to reduce taxes on other activities that are actually useful.

Translation: if retailers still want to reap the potential gains of their own property, my taxation scheme means the government will benefit off their back as well as consumers.  As every child naively believes, legalized robbery must exist.  I say my ironically named 6-6-6 plan will make it possible to reduce taxes but then again I think the government is run by angels and won't just squander the new revenue on another vote buying endeavor.

Despite Frank's best effort, he speaks only for himself and his own system of values by suggesting businesses and consumers should be taxed more as to spend Thanksgiving in a more meaningful way.  Rather than let people freely decide if they want to engage in market transactions at any hour of the night, those who see society ripe for plundering will always zero in on potential thievery like Black Friday.